Two Friends in Providence
In Providence, Rhode Island, a pair of well-meaning but dimwitted roommates had been sharing an uneventful life. Lloyd Christmas had worked as a limousine driver, while his best friend, Harry Dunne, had handled grooming for show dogs. A routine assignment had led Lloyd to meet Mary Swanson, a passenger bound for Aspen, Colorado. During the airport drop-off, Mary had left behind a briefcase containing ransom money for her husband’s kidnappers.
Lloyd had attempted to return the briefcase, unaware of its content, but arrived at the gate too late. After falling off the jetway, he had been fired from his job. Upon returning home, Lloyd had discovered that Harry had also been dismissed, having arrived late to a dog show with the dogs accidentally covered in condiments.
Mistaken Pursuit and Sudden Departure
Unknown to the two friends, they had been followed by criminals Joe “Mental” Mentalino and J.P. Shay, who had intended to retrieve the briefcase. The duo, mistaking the criminals for debt collectors, had fled the apartment. Upon returning, they had found Harry’s parakeet beheaded. Convinced the situation was dire, Lloyd had persuaded Harry to drive to Aspen and return the briefcase to Mary. The journey had begun in Harry’s van, modified to resemble a dog.
A Deadly Detour
While en route, Mental had posed as a hitchhiker and been picked up by the two men. His patience had been tested by their immature antics. During a lunch stop, an attempt to poison them with rat poison had backfired when chili peppers were secretly added to his burger. Mistaking the poison for ulcer medication, Mental had inadvertently ingested it himself. His death had gone unnoticed by Harry and Lloyd, who had continued on their way.
Obstacles on the Road
At a gas station, Harry had met Beth, a fellow traveler, while an angry trucker named Sea Bass, previously antagonized, had returned to attack Lloyd. Beth’s presence had unintentionally protected him. Despite a police ambush being prepared on the Colorado route, Lloyd had mistakenly driven into Nebraska, adding further delay.
Frustrated, Harry had nearly quit the journey. However, Lloyd had traded the van for a minibike, persuading Harry to continue. Eventually, they had arrived in Aspen.
A Misuse of Funds
Unable to locate Mary, tensions had flared between the two friends. During an argument, the briefcase had broken open, revealing stacks of cash. They had indulged in extravagant purchases, staying in a luxury suite and enjoying Aspen’s offerings.
Through a newspaper, they had discovered Mary would be attending a charity gala. Lloyd, nervous but hopeful, had asked Harry to speak to her. Rather than assist, Harry had accepted her invitation to go skiing, misleading Lloyd into thinking he had arranged a date on his behalf.
Jealousy and Embarrassment
While Harry and Mary had enjoyed their day, Lloyd had waited at the hotel bar, where he had run into Beth once again. Realizing the betrayal, Lloyd had laced Harry’s coffee with laxatives as revenge. The results had left Harry humiliated, as he had been forced to relieve himself in a malfunctioning toilet at Mary’s home.
Meanwhile, Lloyd had reintroduced himself to Mary and had brought her to the hotel under the pretense of returning the briefcase. There, he had declared his feelings, only to be rejected.
Revelation and Rescue
Their confrontation had been interrupted by Nicholas Andre, a family friend of Mary and the mastermind behind her husband’s abduction. Furious to discover the ransom had been spent, Nicholas had held Lloyd and Mary at gunpoint. Harry had arrived shortly afterward and been shot. However, it had been revealed that he had been wearing a bulletproof vest provided by Beth, who was actually an undercover FBI agent.
A chaotic exchange of gunfire had ensued, during which Nicholas and Shay had been arrested. Mary had been reunited with her husband, Bobby, while Lloyd had quietly accepted the outcome.
A Lonely Journey Home
With all their purchases confiscated and their minibike no longer functional, Harry and Lloyd had been left with no option but to walk home. During their return, a bus carrying bikini models had stopped to ask for directions and invited them to join the tour as “oil boys.”
Unaware of the opportunity, the duo had declined. As the bus drove away, Harry had reassured Lloyd that their big break would eventually come. Laughing, they had resumed their walk, playing a game of tag under the open sky.
The adventure had ended where it began—with two clueless friends, oblivious to missed opportunities, but content in their shared companionship.
